In the last twenty-four hours, frightening news has been leaked to the international press about the imminent disappearance of nuclear weapons! According to cross-referenced information, following the entry into force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons (TPNW), one country after another is becoming a full member. This will drastically limit the areas available for these otherwise elegant and shiny creatures to breed, reside, and migrate.
In particular, 70 states, [2] representing more than 60% of the available land and the population of Homo sapiens, have already raised the treaty barrier, with the obvious aim of preventing the use of their resources by the nine noble breeders of nuclear weapons. Their attitude towards the friendly advice and exhortations of these nine breeders ranges from indifference to contempt, as they invoke the blatant argument of protecting all life on the planet from the possibility of a chain reaction that a single drop of a nuclear weapon could trigger. The breeders, on the other hand, claim that “our weapons do not fall as easily as their opponents claim” and that “we spent $2,898 every second in 2023 [3] to maintain and improve them and their farms, far more than governments have collectively spent to reverse climate change or global poverty.”
The nine breeders of the respective nuclear weapons clans (i.e., the USA, Russia, China, France, the United Kingdom, India, Pakistan, North Korea, and Israel) are proud of the fact that they have managed to keep the fear of a nuclear fall high in the media, despite the climate created by a section of the world, in order to gain greater acceptance of the paradox of the deterrence logic and thus to boost economic flows in their favor, bypassing other despicable needs such as clean water, sustainable agriculture, renewable energy for all, public education, and health care. In fact, they have even managed to create another colony to house their peaceful creations on the land of Belarus, [4] a colony to add to those already existing on the territories of the Netherlands, Italy, Germany, Belgium, and Turkey. Meanwhile, negotiations are reported to be progressing for the resettlement of nuclear weapons in Greece, from where they were expelled in 2001.
“Fortunately, we still have the vast blue ocean meadows to graze these infamous creatures,” the nine farmers said. They made special reference to the ability of the creatures to move in groups across the world’s oceans. In response to speculation about the confirmed and God only knows how many other unconfirmed or hidden accidents, as well as the environmental and humanitarian consequences of the farming methods used, the nine farmers referred to the companies from which they source their raw materials and special feeds, saying simply: “We are the first to ask our suppliers to follow all the protocols to ensure hygiene and environmental protection rules, but we do not monitor what they do at home.” And jokingly, they said: “We only monitor each other in the unlikely event that one of our favorite nuclear weapons gets out of control in the wrong direction,” thus expressing the very positive and sincere atmosphere of cooperation between them.
Questions about the existence of communicating containers of conventional and nuclear weapons, the existence of fear-mongering lobbies, permanent DNA damage in Homo sapiens and other life forms, the unmeasurable ecological footprint of military spending, and the existence of a hemorrhaging of public funds resulting in the atrophy of the quality of life on the planet were put to the companies that supply the nine breeding countries with the appropriate metals, trace elements, and apocalyptic technology. Although they were admittedly busy with their divine task of making money and humbly apologized for distracting them, they were kind enough to reply: “We’re just doing what we do best; the use of our products is solely the responsibility of the breeder.”
Despite the positive climate cultivated internationally for the existence and breeding of these friendly and peaceful creatures, which “offer” humanity endless moments of horror and fear, a new form of asymmetric threat has recently emerged. It is the truly inexplicable initiative of a few hundred municipalities and cities in support of the UN TPNW in countries that have not yet adopted it. [5] In this blatantly motivated negative propaganda against nuclear weapons, capitals such as Washington, Rome, Berlin, Paris, Canberra, Ottawa, Helsinki, Tirana, Amsterdam, Luxembourg, Oslo, and Bern have been drawn into this obviously negative propaganda against nuclear weapons. Recently in Spain, 100 cities have joined this effort to smear harmless and innocent nuclear weapons. Italy, France, and Greece are following suit and are very close to what is considered a critical mass for the anti-nuclear movement. Whether public opinion finally understands that nuclear weapons are our friends and peace is the real threat, remains to be seen.
[1], [2], [3], [4] : https://www.icanw.org/signature_and_ratification_status
