Fifty-six years ago, on a galaxy, far away, I was invited to take an adventure. This would be a mission that was explained to me in details. The mission had very clear time-frame, goals, but no reporting-back system or needs. There was an interesting condition, that I would be put in a special machine-cum-spacecraft, which would erase my memory (without an undelete option), reduce my size to an atom and my life would start afresh on a new planet called Earth.
By Sudhir Gandotra
When I wondered as to how would I achieve the goals for my mission, or how would I even know my mission without my memory, I was explained that realizing the mission would be part of my mission. I was surprised, but, having got excited by the idea and knowing that I would be back to my existence at the end of the journey, I decided to take on the adventure.
I entered the machine, and then, I lost all my memory, of my body, and everything that I was at that point in time.
You will surely ask, “If this is true, how come I know all this ?”
Well, this is something that is a very interesting, an experience and I will share with you, as part of this writing.
That “I seem to know”, is actually my realization, it is what I strongly feel about this whole thing.
I reached the planet earth, was born here, and started my life from ZERO, with various attributes given to me like a region, religion, caste, language and what not. With no memory of mine, I started learning everything that I could, gaining experiences, just as if my life had started from zero.
Over the years, I had positive and not-so-positive experiences, learnt interesting and boring things, including so many do’s and don’ts. But, I did feel a vacuum. In childhood, it had different term for me and I felt strange whenever I found myself “not fitting” among others. Be it the food habits, accepted behaviours and norms, I found something different about myself. It was never easy for me to “conform to given ideas and ideals”. During my teen years, when I had a little more freedom to go around, read books other than prescribed ones, see movies alone, meet people on my own terms, this “not fitting” feeling meant a “search” for something different, something deeper, something that had a greater meaning, something that was not the usually accepted norm.
Then, one fine day, I came across some people who were talking of “unitive behaviour”, “unity of thoughts, feelings and actions”, “internal unity”, “difference between difficulty and contradiction”, “unity of purpose” “how to achieve internal unity”, “meaning of life, but without being part of a religion”, and this had a strange echo from within me. I did not understand them much, other than a “liking of some special kind”, but had this very disturbing feeling “as if they had something connecting within me”.
I kept up the relationship for a while, though with a completely strange feeling in the first weeks.
And, then, one day, when I went through the “Experience of Force”, I saw something that gave me a new connect with myself. This that I “saw” was actually a very “deep positive sensation”, an experience that left me very happy in a strange way, as if I had discovered something very deep. Though, I still could not name it, it left me with a very joyful experience of force and peace that somehow convinced me to stay put with these people and to learn more about their topics.
Further participation, for which I felt no pain, not even on leaving an important business assignment, saying goodbye to my business partner (because he wanted me to leave them), I felt as if I was being pulled into something that went deeper than the world around me, and I had this strange, at-times-disturbing but very positive sensation that “I was close to my discovery”.
I don’t know if this was a connect to my “pre-earth-mission-existence” or what, but, it was really a very strong experience that gave me the fantastic sensation of “having reached something very big, very deep, very special”, although I could not name it in any exact way.
So, I kept going deeper into it and there came a moment, when I took a mission to spread this Message of Silo, to south of India and went to Madras, to meet people there and take this work forward.
One day, very early in the morning, after being prodded by many that I should go to the beach early in the morning for a walk, I reached the beach near the Anna Statue (North Madras) and started walking on the sands towards South Madras. I must have been walking for over an hour, as I had crossed Santhome Beach, I was away from this world, completely lost to the surrounding, as if I was in a different world and the depth of life came alive to me, I realized that my life has a purpose, a meaning that goes deep beyond the usual norms of the society and that I was on the right path. This sensation, that had my whole body in an “electrified state” as if I was the “energy” itself, gave me a very interesting kind of “calm”, as if I had nothing to lose, as if I was in complete charge of myself and my future.
Then, as if I suddenly woke up, I found myself amidst crabs all around and looking around and back, I found to my utmost surprise that I was walking among the crabs (all around me) for more than 200 metres. I hated that creature and have the usual fear of their bites, but, however here I was, completely calm, fearless, relaxed and not worried at all even now, and I calmly and quietly walked out from among them and came towards the road and sat down on the sand. I realized that I must have walked a lot more than an hour and a half, but I was not worried.
Rather, my thoughts had their own path, and I had a new connect: it was my Eureka moment. Now, I knew that I am on earth with some purpose, some mission and that I had to discover this purpose.
So, the next stage of my mission became “Search for this Mission”.
My existence from then onwards, had a new meaning, because I had a purpose. The only mystery left was “what was this purpose”.
Reading Silo again became important for me, because he spoke of this Mission, this Purpose.
Doing the Experience of Force more frequently, became more important, because that experience gave me a new connect. Meeting people and helping them realize all this became even more important, because that gave me a glimpse of my Meaning, my Purpose.
So, I went on and on, participating with increasing force, in the “internal work” that helped me deepen my connect within myself and with “external activities” that helped me deepen the connect with others, showing me that this “internal world was a world that could be shared with others of the same interest”.
This was possibly the best thing that had happened to me, simply because it always gave me a fantastic sense of Peace, Force and Joy within myself. I was travelling places, meeting people of so many types (different languages, regions, religions, and the various social attributes), learning languages, cultures and what not, always with the wonderful sense of happiness that I was gaining alongside of a deeper connect with my meaning.
And, then, one day, when I was re-living (in imagination) my experience of that Madras beach, I realized the words for my purpose, my meaning : “I was here to understand the confusion of the times and help find ways to clarify it to people around me, including myself”.
It started becoming clear to me that my journey had some strange attributes (events, people) who knowingly or un-knowingly, helped me reach my realization, I was supposed to help others in a more organized way to do the same.
Now, Silo’s message had a new meaning for me. It became a clear tool that I had to master not just for my realization, but also to learn to take it to others to achieve the same internal unity that I had achieved.
I realized that although Silo gave a complete written and well-explained method to achieve this internal unity, there was no magic, or thread, or stone that could be worn to achieve this internal unity. One had to work to learn and experience it and while doing that, one had to unlearn plenty of violent tending things (habits, thoughts, feelings, actions) that our world of today teaches us through a “completely rotten and polluted set of values”.
I gradually came to realize that the world was like a ship without a radar, without a driver and was just roaming around with the waves in the direction of the stronger waves or wind.
Within myself, I had gained this “fact” that if we wish, we can give ourselves a new direction and for this, one had to work to learn and practice the given set of methods. There was no Guru, no Religion, no formal Guide, but, there were others around to help, each one helping others while learning oneself. And the results were there to experience for oneself.
I also experienced that this state of unity was not something automatic, but a result of valid action (where thoughts, feelings and actions are in one direction), and that one could lose this state as much as one could achieve it.
Little by little, though stuck in my process (commitments, responsibilities etc. that the violent world teaches us and engulfs us in), I kept my purpose as my goal and kept on moving in a direction, where, without having to leave the world and become a Saint, or follow a Guru, I kept on giving my humble contribution in the effort of living a unitive life, while sharing it with others as much as I could and I am still trying to keep this up to the best of my abilities.
Today, as a result of all these experiences, I have this clear feeling, that I am here, from another galaxy, to experience the adventure of planet Earth, where, I am required to contribute my best, the best that I need to learn about here. I am not a Guru, nor a Teacher, not someone Great, but just a traveller who is making his own experience, while learning to do good with myself and others.
I do not know what will be the result of this journey!
But, I have this feeling, that, when I get back to my life, I will carry within myself, a stronger positivity and that I would have fulfilled my mission successfully.
I see that I am very lucky on this planet. I have wonderful friends. Friends whom I have met and those whom I have never met physically, but I know them equally well and we share these positive experiences. Friendly ones, who not only greet me, but also discuss and walk with me together in the gaining of these positive experiences.
Life on this planet is very strange. It binds us to so many things, but these bindings, called relations, are beautiful, when we remain positive and selfless. And, in such a stage, they leave behind very positive experiences, which give us strength to do more in a positive way.
Although the planet has a lot of violence, it is full of positive people, and if a small percentage of these positive people come together for a common goal, they can achieve great things, and one day, I am sure, just a few thousand of them shall come together to remove the violence from the planet and build a unitive life of purpose for all.
That will be the day, when happiness would no more be sold in advertisements, but will be shared in selfless hearts without any fear. That will be the day when this planet will launch itself towards a new journey for its people. And, perhaps, I cold be a small catalyst in that direction, while carrying on with my journey through the planet, that I now love and call my own.
I thank my family and all my friends who, through their loving greetings on this day of the start of my journey on planet Earth, have provoked me to share these experiences. I think everyone, starting from my parents, who have paved my way towards and through these experiences. My very special thanks to all the Humanists across the planet who have contributed in many ways towards my wonderful experiences. My very special thanks to Cristina and Fernando, who, through their love and guidance has given me a special relationship, that has helped me achieve so much in my experiences.
Thank you, my friends, I love you all and I love the planet Earth. Lets continue our journey with the Unity of Purpose to achieve happiness for all of us, everywhere.
