From the Humanist Health News Network REHUNO Health we are launching a place of exchange where we find a new look on daily life based on an experiential and existential psychology (the Psychology of New Humanism), and which gives some concrete proposals for personal work to reach a full meaning of our existence and a life free of unnecessary suffering. It is not, therefore, a therapeutic psychology or one that deals with any pathology, but is aimed at anyone who wants to understand themselves and have the tools, if they so wish, to initiate a positive change in their lives. Psychological wellbeing is undoubtedly one of the foundations of integral health, which is why it is an aspect that needs to be addressed.
We invite you to put these proposals into practice and also to contact us and tell us about your experience. Write to us!
By Jordi Jiménez
There is a lot of talk about happiness, especially when there is a lack of it, and there are many recipes for achieving it. We are going to approach this subject from a point of view that is somewhat different to those you may have heard. It is about consolidating a register of coherence with oneself and with others, and it is this coherence that will give us a feeling of happiness.
When we say coherence we are talking about something quite precise. We can define coherence as thinking, feeling and acting in the same direction, treating others as we would like to be treated. Therefore, coherence depends only on how we act, it depends on our action and not on any external conditioning factors. Let’s observe that we are not only coherent when we unify our thinking, feeling and acting, but there is also an element of relationship with other people that acts to register coherence. Then, if we act in this way with coherence, we have a clear sensation of internal unity, that everything is fine, we feel lighter, happier, more centred and even difficult situations seem less so, because we feel strong and at the same time light and with an open future, where everything is possible. All these sensations, among others, are what we associate with happiness and are produced precisely when we act in this way, when we are coherent when we do things. There is a belief that happiness depends on the possession of certain objects or places, on having certain things or not having them. We will see that this is not so.
Energetic Unity
So why does happiness depend on one way of doing things? The response lies in our energetic circuitry and the direction in which this energy is expressed in the world. We are not talking about a strange, out-of-body energy, but about the psychophysical energy that moves our body and mind, something we can clearly perceive if we pay attention.
Let’s take an example: it is morning and I am running through the streets of my neighbourhood when I meet a friend, stop and talk briefly. Then I notice that, on the one hand, I have the desire to continue talking to my friend and, on the other hand, I also have the desire to continue my morning exercise. I clearly notice that I want to do two things that are not going in the same direction, that at that moment they are incompatible. I feel that little contradiction that we often feel in our daily lives and that is temporary, that usually resolves itself immediately. So I can tell my friend that I will call him in the afternoon to have a coffee and talk calmly and continue with my exercise, or I can invite him to run with me for a while if he feels like it and we can talk.
From this simple example we are mainly interested in the register of division that is felt in that brief moment. This sensation occurs because part of our energy aims to continue running and another part aims to stay talking longer, as if our own body were subtly splitting in two. An energetic division occurs because the directions of both desires do not coincide, I want to do two things that at that moment are opposed to each other. In this case the situation is easily resolved, but in many other situations there remains this energetic division given by desires that are not compatible and that provokes a register of contradiction. If this register were frequent and daily, it would become a state of growing unhappiness due to the accumulation of these contradictions.
Indicators of internal unity
But what would happen if we normally felt that our energy is oriented in one direction, that we act without divisions, that we do things without contradictions, in a unitive, coherent way? Our sense of happiness would grow. We would feel united, strong, light and joyful, because these are the experiences that occur when our energetic circuit works in coordination, as a whole, in unity. This is what is meant by the expression “thinking, feeling and acting in the same direction”.
Everyday situations often present us with multiple contradictions, some accidental or unforeseen, others habitual or systemic. Meeting a friend while jogging is totally fortuitous, but it puts me in a situation of small contradiction. What to do then if these fortuitous contradictory situations cannot be avoided? We simply have to find a coherent way out, to give a response that leaves us with a feeling of coherence, or in other words, of energetic unity, that there are no divisions in my psycho-physical energy.
And how can I recognise this kind of response or this kind of output? They must have these three qualities:
- They leave a feeling of unity at that moment.
- They leave a taste of inner growth
- After a while there is no doubt that I would do the same thing again.
If all three characteristics are met, we are in the presence of a coherent act, but if any of the three qualities is missing, we are not in the presence of a unitive action. On the other hand, we have already said that coherent actions must have others in mind, hence the second part of the definition “treating others as I would like to be treated”.
Accumulation of actions
Coherent or contradictory actions accumulate in one. This is important. Why do they accumulate? Because there is a recording system, the memory, which keeps registers of everything we do, what we feel and what we think. In this way, the recordings of a new way of acting will be superimposed on the previous ones and will allow a change of course. And it will be thanks to the accumulation of these new coherent actions that we will move closer to that state of happiness, joy of living and meaning.
Happiness is not an object that is obtained and once it is possessed, that’s it, I am happy forever. It is rather a place that one approaches or moves away from depending on how one acts in one’s life.
As we said at the beginning, we don’t get closer to that state by getting objects or by being in certain places, or by eating certain things. An object, a place or a food may give me a very gratifying sensation at a given moment, and at that moment I may feel good, relaxed, calm, etc. But that state is totally transient and disappears as soon as I stop having that object, or being in that place, or simply through attrition. It does not meet condition 2 (taste of internal growth). Pleasurable moments tend to wear out by the simple passage of time. They remain in memory leaving a trace of nostalgia and a desire to return to them that if repeated and repeated eventually wears away their illusory influence.
In contrast, coherent action is something that depends on what I do and not on changing external situations. It is something that accumulates in my energetic circuit, does not wear out, grows and consolidates over time. It is independent of external objects or places and I don’t need to possess anything special to achieve the happiness that coherent action gives us. It only depends on what I do in the world, on my attitude towards myself and others. If I strengthen my intention to act consistently, I will move towards real and lasting happiness.
If you want to discuss this topic, you can write to us at rehuno.salud@gmail.com
